Everyone seems to have an excuse for things these days. Well, not everyone exactly because that's not exactly a fair statement. Not everyone but a lot of people are pretty good at using an excuse to explain why something did or didn't happen. Are you one of them? What's your favorite? Do you have that go-to excuse that you use to dismiss responsibility or explain away why you didn't achieve a goal?

I read a quote once that said something like "There's 100 excuses why you can't do something, but all it takes is one reason to get it done." I think we can all say we have made excuses in life to explain away something whether it be homework, a chore we didn't do or a deficiency in our place of employment. Some people take making excuses to the next level and use this tool to avoid responsibility in their behaviors. This type of excuse damages relationships and allows a person to continue making detrimental mistakes in their lives. My goal is to help people self reflect and improve life, so I wanted to identify some of the most common excuses I have seen people use to avoid not taking action in life.

1. I'm too old

A lot of people get caught up in this one. We get to a certain age, and we can easily start to justify not taking a chance on making a change. We may be locked into old ideas that are preventing us from doing something or we could be telling ourselves it's too late in life to change a career or relationship out of fear that time is not on our side. Is it really about age or is that used to justify not taking a chance? At your age are you physically and mentally capable of making the change? Then, is it really about age at all or are we justifying staying stuck because it's comfortable? The truth is life experiences often change our perspective as we age which may allow us even more insight into problems than we realized when we were younger. If we use that insight to move forward in life, then age may actually benefit us more than hold us back.

2. It's too risky

What's the risk exactly? What do you lose or gain? Do I risk losing what makes me unhappy only to continue to be unhappy? Maybe but what if the risk leads to rewards unforeseen? You will never know if you don't take a risk. Not taking a risk comes with its share of loss or benefit as well. Fearing taking a risk allows a person to avoid facing the fear of failure or success or even just change. It can all be scary initially but almost every exciting thing in life goes this way but often once the threshold is crossed, we see the difference and realize perhaps it wasn't as frightening as once believed.

3. It's too hard.

What is the difficult part? What part of this goal do you honestly think you can't do? Can you really not do it or do you not want to put the work in? What parts can I do that may not be as difficult? Often even if something seems difficult, we can do some part of it easier than others. Start with this and build upon it. If you haven't tried, then how do you know you can't accomplish it? If you have done it before, then doesn't that also mean it's actually in reality not "too hard" because you already did it?

4. I'm overwhelmed.

Feeling overwhelmed is a byproduct of letting too many things go through our mind at once. Stop thinking about everything that has to be done all at once because when we focus on the extensive list of everything we have to accomplish or get done all at once, this can seem insurmountable. This makes it easy to give up and tell ourselves that we should not even try. Some people will start nitpicking or focusing on all the reasons they can find to justify not even starting to accomplish a goal. When this happens, nothing gets done. Try focusing on the part you are going to work on today otherwise you will never get started and ultimately never reach the end result you were hoping for. If you're feeling overwhelmed, then ask yourself what things you feel you have to do and start eliminating things you cannot work on this week, then narrow it down to the day if possible by choosing one item off the list and focus on that solely until you have accomplished it. Focus on the smaller more easily accomplished items first so the list gets smaller and smaller in your own mind. Sooner than later your mind will start to clear and you will feel more free to focus on the bigger projects.

5. I don't have time.

First of all, realize it's ok to make time for things that are important to you. This doesn't mean spend all your time focused on you but if you never prioritize time for yourself, it will be difficult to be motivated to achieve other goals as well. Time passes more quickly or slowly based on how we feel in the moment. Think about how many times you were doing something fun, and time slipped away too quickly or when you were in class just begging for it to be over. It's all about perspective. How we feel about our decisions and actions that move us toward or away from our goals can make us feel like time is passing slowly or quickly. What things are preventing you from focusing and doing what needs to get done in your life? Do you need to eliminate TV, social media, or certain people from your life if only for a short while in order for you to focus on what needs to get done? These things can all help pass the time but not always in a productive way, but if you find yourself tethered to all these distractions, you may find yourself frustrated at the end of the week when none of your personal goals or needs were tended to because you allowed yourself to focus on things that don't align with your goals.

In all of our lives, there are going to be things that arise that will challenge us and perhaps will be fear inducing. How we respond to that will make a difference in how we live our lives. When something comes up that's new or different or unexplored, depending on how we have learned to adapt to challenges in the past, we may approach these things differently. For some, new and unexplored means risky and dangerous whether or not we have tried it or not. We can talk ourselves out of going into the cave whether it's as dark or as deep as we may fear it is from the outside looking in. We can choose to play it safe and not enter but what if the rain comes or what if by staying outside the cave the wind is too cold or other wildlife has easier access to do us harm? Start with something small like speaking your mind about something, choosing a new milkshake flavor, or buying a totally different kind of clothing. If we can learn that not all risk comes with a bad outcome, then we may discover that the worst outcome of all was the one we already experienced living life the way we had been by not taking the risk in the first place. If you want to overcome these types of excuses or just want help to make a change in your life, book a coaching session with me today.

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